Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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