I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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