So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
