Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
