I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
