i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
