i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
