Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
