were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
