so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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