It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
