I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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