It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
