SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
