Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
