whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
