the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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