the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dicks are not precious.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
