Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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