he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
