Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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