soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my being single is dangerous.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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