So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
