she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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