Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My friends, they love my intelligence
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
