all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
