That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
