Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
