We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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