I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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