If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
