guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
