ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
