the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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