Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
