3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
