): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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