It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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