i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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