i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize