I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
