my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it's like heaven, but drunker
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
