I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
