The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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