i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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