I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
