is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
