He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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