she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize