I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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