the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize