we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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