I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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