She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
