Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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