did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
