Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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