I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
