...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
