i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
