i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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