I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
