I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
