In the future we'll all be gay
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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