i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
